one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
