So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
How's work?
Spinning.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
