I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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