what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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