had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
should my penis look like a turkey
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
