We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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