who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
