I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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