And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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