How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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