I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I have feelings that need drinking.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Randomize
