Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
