Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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