a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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