she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
is that a dick in a sweater?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
