M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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