Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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