somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
