atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
