Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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