you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
as a side note pls kill me
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
