plz talk dirty to me
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Are my feet made of real feet?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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