I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
