i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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