Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
