I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
grandma shit on top of the toilet
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
