You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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