dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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