ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
