your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
