Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
