9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
