my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize
