Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
