Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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