its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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