I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
