why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
