I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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