To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
