I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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