We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
