Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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