I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
