apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
