i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
