She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
