i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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