I need help removing her.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
