OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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