Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
