I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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